Since August 20, 2007, this blog has become an honest look at a frail human struggling to accept the love of a perfect God all the while grieving the loss of her soul mate...her delight...her true companion.

Currently I am struggling with my view of God...it can so easily become warped...especially when I'm out of the word. I fall back into old patterns of thought..."Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Romans 12:2.

Thankfully, sometimes God rescues me from myself. I was praying for spiritual protection for a friend this morning, and the thought came to me to pray for my spiritual protection...which led to a time of confession...and boy did the truth come out...truth I had been hiding from myself. My view of God had become that of an abandoner...one who says he loves you but whose actions defy that profession. And there it was. No wonder I have been so depressed! I am feeling abandoned.

This is why it is VITAL that we write God's word on our hearts. The following verse came quickly: He will never leave nor forsake me...from "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8

Ah faith...the Bible gives an excellent definition: "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 12:1. I am a bit blind these days...but I HOPE God is here. I hope that he loves me. I hope that he is with me. I hope he tucks me in each night. I hope he kisses my cheek each morning. I hope he is thrilled every time I walk in the room. I hope he is wiping away my tears. I hope he is holding me.