God has graciously allowed me a time of "insanity" in order to get through this first part of grieving. Seriously, this is my experience: I do not remember my life before Aug. 20. Granted, I'm not digging too deep. It's almost as if I...whoever "I" am...because I'm not quite sure, came into existence last Monday. I have a lovely home...needs some fixin up. I have wonderful friends...who are all so sad about this "Chuck" fellow. I have great parents, Chuck and Mary. However, the last 13 years with my Chuck are gone. I do not remember being married to him...being madly in love with him; laughing with him; I certainly do not remember this past year in the hospital. God kindly took an eraser and wiped everything clean until he thinks I'm ready. That God! I know he will slowly bring me back to the world of the "sane". I am trusting him to release my memories gently.