Whew! It's been one of the fruitful times when God has daily revealed new truths to me...so I'm giddy and pooped. Where to start?

Let's start with JOY. Someone will have to instruct me here...is there scripture that supports the idea that great suffering and great sorrow provides for greater joy? That is what has happened in my life and my soul. My capacity for joy is so deep. I praise God and thank him for once again using my beloved to grow me...stretch me. Could Chuck have been any more of a blessing??? First he blessed my life in our marriage, then he blessed my life in his death...deepened my soul so that it could encompass more JOY. Atta boy, Chuck!

Second...and third...God has been "speaking" to me about my house. For months I've gone back and forth with him and myself about the size and cost of my home. (My home is PRECIOUS. I love my home...it is exactly the type of home I've always wanted.) Alas, the timing is not quite right. It is not my season for this home anymore. This is a GREAT home for a small family...for a husband and wife. It is too much for me...in more ways than one! I am trying to live "well below my means." That's all but impossible with my mortgage...and repairs. Truly, God has "whispered" this to me many times over the months...and I have politely ignored the thoughts he has planted.

So, I met with a financial advisor. One of the first things he said was, "Um, your mortgage is waaay too much of your income." Now, I realize this is just a comment. I realize I have choices...tons of them. Yet it confirmed my "uneducated" thoughts about the house...and God's previously-planted-ideas. So I sat in the car after my meeting and said, "Alright God. If I am to sell my house, you have GOT TO CONFIRM THIS IN MY SPIRIT. I MEAN IT HAS GOT TO BE CLEAR!"

Later that same day, I looked at some tiny apartments...some that are a stone-throw away from Shea, Grego, and the kids. Seriously, I could walk and be there in 5 minutes. In any case, my spirits started to lift...I started to feel a bit giddy. The idea of selling 3/4 of my possessions...throwing off all that ties me down...sooo liberating! I felt the weight of the world begin to LIFT. I felt a sense of freedom and independence...a CLEAR answer to my prayer. Again, I should NOT be surprised when God speaks clearly to me...alas, it still amazes me. So, clear confirmation...sell the house...simplify...live below my means....

But wait, there's more to the story. So, I'm driving to work the next day, contemplating the BULK of cash I would get from selling my house...putting the money into savings. It would be a HUGE help. Then the thought came to me..."Hmmm, storing up treasures, huh?" And I thought, "What if in all this selling of my possessions, God asked me to give it all away and follow him???" Breathe easy, he is not asking me to do that. But he did ask me to consider the idea of giving...to someone in need. Which spurred my mind to think of folks I know that are poor...living in poverty. I KNOW OF NO ONE living in poverty...the type of poor that God asks us to care for. So I prayed, "God, show me the poor." INSTANTLY, a S.A.M.M.'s truck pulled up beside me. (S.A.M.M. is a ministry for the homeless). Talk about INSTANT answer to prayer...I had to laugh out loud.

Okay, so here I am...about to jump out on faith! It's thrilling and scary. Someone once told me that living a life devoted to Christ is a big adventure. I'll say! So, I go back and forth...because I love my little home...I love my stuff. Let me just be honest...it brings me a degree of comfort. The idea of letting it all go, while scary, is THRILLING!

Whew.