This, blessedly, has been a good grief week. I have two "grief" sessions on Mondays...the first with the "young widows" at lunch, and the second with my grief group in the evening. This week, both groups brought a GREAT deal of healing.

In the young widows group, we discussed becoming whole on our own...after having been a pair...after having our "other half" ripped away. Since God used Chuck extensively to grow me and heal me, I feel like I have a head start...I remember Chuck's lessons...I hear his advice...he's still very much a part of me as I become my own person. I love that. Chuck has left an indelible mark on me.

We did some role-playing in my evening group. I've come to love that activity...odd as I cannot stand to "pretend in public." I always feel so self-conscious. We were to "speak" for our loved-one...the question was, "What would your loved one say to you about the way you are grieving him or her?" I know EXACTLY what Chuck would say...his hand gestures...how he would pull me into his chest and rub my back..."Oh, Janny, you are doing so great. I am so proud of you, baby. Just look at what you've done. But please, be a little more gentle with yourself...don't push so hard. You are not in a race. Everything will be alright..."

I love that I hear his calming voice when I get overwhelmed...that he is still encouraging me to be a better person...to be more patient with myself...to have faith that God's got everything under control...that I can relax.