Several things...first of all, it's been a rough "grief" week. I almost put a sign outside my cubicle one day that read, "It is a grieving day"...that would have been the day I cried a lot AND watched Chuck's celebration video...a time or two. So there's that.

I've been sickly. Turns out I have "a touch" of bronchitis. I don't feel too bad...but being sick day after day wears on the body, the nerves, the spirit...how did Chuck do it for so long??

Then there was the breathing treatment I received...I never know what event will undo me...clearly getting a breathing treatment is one of them... I cried and cried and cried...reminded me so much of Chuck's daily doses.

Then, and most importantly, I'm on the outs with God...feeling apathetic and frustrated. I'm out of the word and completely uninspired to pray. I'm lost. I keep trying to reach out...as I would if Chuck and I were at odds. I know I can't run from this...nor can I run from God..."where could I go"...?

Blah.