Have you ever received answer to prayer that is so utterly clear and in your face that it takes your breath away...makes you weep with the directness of God's invovlement...of his coming into your life in such a personal way? Happened to me this morning, and I'm still a bit woozy from the whole experience. I find God typically requires me to jump on faith...rarely do I get a "HEY, JAN...DO THIS."

For months now, I've been contemplating a change...offering my life, which is now so freed up, to serve. How? That's me...I want to do things the "right way"...this fear of messing up OFTEN immobilizes me, leaving me pretty useless...not really helping anyone because I won't move or try doing the "wrong" thing...getting involved in the "wrong" place for me. So, I've been praying...and really feeling led (in my gut) that it's time to STOP consuming what church has to offer...stop with the classes...with the learning...with the receiving...and DO something that requires me to put myself OUT.

First hurdle, my place of worship...my home...is far...not in my neighborhood, not even in my city...not people in my life...and I feel compelled to stay "home"...to build a community IN my community. I want to make friends...and I have the feeling the way to do that is to get involved in serving. Typically, when I want to make friends, I find people who can befriend ME...who will benefit MY life...who will bring me laughter and comfort and joy. All for ME. God's been whispering, "Jan, reach out to help...stop worrying about what you GET. Stop it, sweetie...trust me...you are aching for something that you cannot fill unless you pour out of yourself."

So, Shea and Greg are out of town...and I thought I'd try a dear church...where I have been consuming of their counselors and teachers except for Sunday when I trek out to the church of my heart...of my life with Chuck...of my comfort. I did not notice the marquee...did not notice the topic for the day...just popped in for a visit. I was warmly embraced (people there know me as I am often there for classes). The topic? SERVING...complete with a list of serving opportunities. Holy SH#@!

Romans 12:1..."Therefore, I urge you brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship."

I want my life to be a song of worship to my God...I want to sign his name at the end of each day-knowing that my heart was true.