And the two shall become one…ironically I was reading Boundaries in Marriage the last few days of Chuck’s life. Oddly enough, when a marriage shifts so drastically…a sharing of two partners to a caretaker/caregiver sorta situation…there can be a boundary issue or two!

Again, it is just like God to start preparing my heart in advance…for what was ahead.

I think all of us get the “two shall become one” thing…in a way. I had always focused on the ONE part. We will be ONE. I felt so incomplete and longed to be whole. I truly thought I needed someone else to complete me. What escaped my understanding was that the prerequisite was two complete people...in God's economy it takes two completes to make one. Thankfully Chuck was one and a half people. Okay, kidding. But again, God "made all things work together for good" and grew me up within our marriage. While I leaned on Chuck heavily...we were also complements...praise God.

Here's the deal...in my young widows group, we are discussing being complete and whole apart from our spouses. We when marry, many times we lose ourselves...we lean heavily on our spouse and depend on them to complete us rather than growing(guilty, guilty, and guilty). Of course that GOD gave me 15 months of stretching and growing...doing ALL the things Chuck had done so well in our marriage. PLUS Chuck was there for coaching and reassurance. Truly I am in awe of this training time allowed me.

I remember a time when I thought the main thing that made me special was Chuck. I had worth because of Chuck...he chose me...I was married to the most fascinating person on the planet, thus I must be pretty special. While there is some weight to that...I was married to the most fascinating person on the planet...praise God! Alas I have found there is more to me than Chuck. God has orchestrated my past...used my precious husband and our journey to bring me to an amazing place of joy. For the first time in my life, I am happy and complete in myself. What an amazing God...what a beautiful miracle.