Alrighty, I've found all of Toast's posts. They are soooo Toast:

Chuck? Grumpy? Naahhh...
Hey y'all. I was at Lions Camp, and Amber Ehrlich and Heather Terry told me that you, Chuck, have been in an ICU for several months, or some such.

Chuck, lemme tell you something: That's too long. The rent for those units is OUTRAGEOUS. They try to keep you happy with good food, and happy-happy joy-joy television programs, but then the bill comes. DUUUUDE. Ouch.

It sounds like many wonderful people have given you their love. I want to be one of those people, too. May I come visit you? I only ask because I know there is a such thing as "Too-many-visitors" when you're in the hospital.

My first year at TLC, you and Tod decided to go around camp asking people for what would they walk 500 miles. At the time, I said I would walk 500 miles for a vanilla ice cream on a popsicle stick that's upside down on a road, and melting somewhat. Now, I'm a bit older. I would walk 500 miles for you, Chuck. And I'd eat that ice cream when I got home.

I hope to see you soon, but if soon's not a good time, that's just fine. I see you in my imagination and prayers daily.

Love,
Toast
toastvinson@earthlink.net


Yes, you find the best care for Chuck. It seems that you want the BEST people to come in to Chuck's room and care for him. The best care usually involves the best people, right? Doctors, nurses, and staff. Go to wherever those people are.

If it's in a hustle bustle place, if it's too loud, fine, give him earplugs or something. Line the room with sheets and towels. Get a jambox and play Chuck's favorite music; play some Mozart and Beethoven, like green thumbers do for their plants. I can just imagine Chuck turning green with chlorophyll -- move him next to the window and he'll start converting sunlight into his own energy!

Right when I woke up this morning, the first words out of my mouth were, "Breathe, Chuck. Breathe! And eat, too, you rascal!"

Keep the, and have a good leap of, faith!

Love,
Toast


Jan, you and Chuck have experienced things most people will never see. It seems to me that you two have gone "up on the mountain" -- close to God in a special way.

I realize that Chuck's health is the most important thing here. But I feel as though y'all's effect on those of us who listen to your blog has been tremendous. I get the impression that, when we look for you two up on the mountain, we see God close by.

That's true for me. Thank you.

Love,
Toast



What a beaming light you gave, Jan.

Earlier yesterday, I emailed Ross and Todd and thanked them for telling me how their recent visit was. As I finished the email, a thought hit me, "When I think about Chuck, my memories of him always have funniness in them. But now in Chuck's endurance race, humor seems to be absent." So I finished my email to Ross and Todd with, "Life's tough without a sense of humor."

Boom! A few hours later, I read that Chuck is being a ham with you -- a sweet honey-baked one at that!

Thank you for your wonderful news. In addition to praying for healthy lungs, skin mending, and nutrition, I will also pray for humor!

Love,
Toast


Hi Jan and Chuck,

I'm just writing to say I'm thinking about y'all. Regarding Chuck's fever, I harken back to Bill Cosby: "Push him out, shove him out, waaaaaaay out! Push him out, shove him out, waaaaaaay out! Push him out, shove him out, waaaaaaay out!"

Love,
Toast


B reathing
R eally
E ngenders
A
T racheal
H allelujah!
E verlastingly

Toast


Tomorrow, I will be thinking of Chuck, you, and Chuck's colon.

--Toast


Hey Y'all,

Thank you for blogging y'all's time in the hospitals. I pray that when we peer out to y'all's horizon, we see you blogging y'all's time recovering at home. I'm glad the wound vac made it with Chuck during the transfer -- it's his grown-up version of a teddy bear!

Hah, Jan, you twice referred to getting "the scoop." Is this some sort of new surgical tool?

Doctor: "Scalpel?"
Nurse: "Scalpel."
Doctor: "Hemostats?"
Nurse: "Hemostats."
Doctor: "Scoop?"
Nurse: "Scoop."

OK, I hope the surgery goes wonderfully.

Love,
Toast


Toast Vinson said...
Chuck's superhero costume is nearly complete!


Toast Vinson said...
If Chuck keeps that Ensure down, I see a lucrative employment opportunity in his future as Ensure's poster boy!

Could you imagine, driving through San Antonio and seeing a huge billboard of Chuck smiling whilst holding up a can of Ensure? (and a can of RC Cola behind his back).

Toast


Dear Jan,

Please continue to say how you feel. You have a load too heavy to carry all the time. And you telling us not to worry over your feeling like a mess... forget about that. I became less worried about you when I saw how courageously honest you're being with God. My perception of you is spelled like this:

J - a - n

You are Jan. You are wonderful.

Love,
Toast


Toast Vinson said...
Hey Jan,

I'm sorry the backward steps have reared their ugly head. That's sad.

You said Chuck is sick and tired of being sick and tired. There is a Taoist saying which rings true for me, and it may for Chuck, too:

Only when we are Sick of our Sickness,
Shall we cease to be Sick.

I pray for Chuck and for you.

Love,
Toast


Toast said...
Howdy Jan. I will pray God carries you and makes you stronger. When you're ready, give him some help.

Love,
Toast


Dear Jan,

Hello. How are you doing? I hope you are doing well with your life, Chuck, your job, and the rest of the daily incredible challenges you have now. I can't possibly imagine what it must be like juggling being with Chuck and being at work. But I sincerely believe you when you tell us it can become too hard. Maybe God doesn't want you to juggle them. Maybe you should simply hold them close to you, because they're both important to you.

OK metaphor, how do you become reality? Sorry, I don't know. But I do believe if you listen closely to God, he will tell you how to care for Chuck and work your job -- maybe he'll even teach you how to juggle them!!

Have you spoken with other people who's spouses have been in the hospital for several months? several years?

I pray for you two.

Last week, I volunteered at Lions Camp. It was great. I thought of you and Chuck a lot. I laughed when I'd pass the old PO (now the counselor's lounge), because I remember in 1993(?) I'd sometimes hear Chuck on the loudspeaker in his business voice: "Jan Crawford, please come to the PO. Jan Crawford, please come to the PO." -- even though you weren't there that summer!! Ha ha!

We camped out on Inspiration, and I definitely thought of y'all two when I was up there, because y'all two are an inspiration.

I agree with Christy & Co. Be kind to yourself. Jan, you're doing wonderfully. You have lots of love in your life.

Love,
Toast
Toast said...



Toast said...
"Jan Crawford, please come to the PO. Jan Crawford, please come to the PO."

Chuck is in heaven, sending his love down to you.

Love,
Toast


Toast said...
Oh boy, Chuck gives us the perfect double-whammy: his ashes are on Inspiration and his urine is on Mr. Manly Man Mountain!

--Toast


Toast said...
Hey Jan,

How are your blood sugars?

--Toast


Toast said...
A-ha! Wow, thanks for such a specific answer, Jan (to my question about your blood sugars). It sounds like a GOOD answer, too!

I almost (not quite, but almost) meant it as a rhetorical question. I know there are too many things to "take care of" at this time of your life, and for awhile now I have been wondering how your blood sugars/diet/exercise/health are doing.

Your blood sugars were/are fine?!?1 Wow, that is commendable. So much so that I missed the 'Shift' key for that exclamation mark up there. Blood sugars affect your present, and your future. I am glad God gives you all three.

Love,
Toast
fellow "on-a-new-pump"-er


Toast said...
You say you dreamt Chuck was raised from the dead? What happened afterwards? Perhaps when you weren't dream-looking, just to freak people out, he became an earthen covered dancing zombie, a' la Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video?!?

I can imagine Chuck interpreting his spiritual expressions in his own humorous ways...


Toast said...
CONGRATULATIONS JAN!!!! WOOOO HOOOO!!

Wow, what a challenging run! You gave yourself a crucible. Crying, hyperventilating, cramping...

Welp, I'm glad our Dear Lord did, in fact, "...deliver you from this hell"! When you think back to the run, I hope you can find smiles, laughter, and other important things.

As you ran, it seems like something held you back while something else(?) simultaneously pushed you on. What were they/it?

Since you gave yourself new meaning to the word 'exertion', now I hope you're already giving yourself new meaning to the word 'relaxation'. For several weeks. If you're standing, can you sit? If you're sitting, can you lay down?

I am happy for you Jan.

Love,
Toast Vinson
Fellow "Where are the Porta-Potties?!?!" pilgrim