Submission vs. Suppression

Dang! I was really hoping for a light post this time! Alas, I tend to write what God puts on my heart...it's a deep season.

So many of you have called and emailed, offering support during this time of battle (lies vs. truth)...thank you. You have been a strong reminder of who is in charge (not me, whew) and my responsibility to "take every thought captive and submit it to Christ" (2 Cor. 10:5). Just a note on taking thoughts captive, this whole ordeal with "suddenly" experiencing all this guilt is a reminder that suppression of thoughts and submission of thoughts are two totally different things. I've come to know the worst thing you can do, concerning a painful thought, is hide it...bury it...believe me, it will return to haunt you! But confessing the FULL thought to God lets you work through the lies in your thinking. Each time I had a twinge of guilt about Chuck, I would tell myself, "Jan, that is ridiculous. Just stop it. You know you loved him. You did the best you could with the knowledge you had." While this sounds good and well...it turned out to be pretty disastrous...dismissing thoughts like that. I rejected them in my own worldy wisdom (mistake!) I did not give any consideration to the foolishness coming out of my heart. Alas, this foolishness needed to come into the light. This would be more in line with taking every thought captive and submitting it to Christ: "God, I think I made a mistake with Chuck. I think I should have fought harder. I should have given him more time before giving up. Is this true? Should I have fought harder? What do you think? Speak to me about this, Lord. Are these thoughts founded in truth?"

One more note on "guilt"...guilt always leads to death. It is one of Satan's GREAT tools. It leads to separation from God. It leads to shame. It leads to isolation. Conviction leads to life...to confession...to repentance...and to a new beginning.

I KNOW my recent feelings about Chuck are based in lies...which have lead to feelings of guilt. I thank God for those of you who speak TRUTH into my life...I thank God for his TRUTH...it will set me free.